Thursday, October 25, 2007

In the Land of Zion

Yo this is the promised land.

I can't even begin to describe the trip here. You gotta take it yourself. IN A BIZARRE TWIST OF DESERT FATE all my best photos, which were taken during the 20th hours I spent in the Colorado river canyon near the half-ghost town of Cisco where the rocks are red, there are 1000 ft cliffs, and mesas everywhere; yes, where all my BEST photos of the whole god damned trip were taken; NONE of these made it from my phone to my email. They just got fucking ate in mid air by flying desert evil. Or something!

West on I-70 is up up up and sunny and nice; then you emerge out of the tunnel into a completely different world of clouds and fog where you are in the clouds... pass frisco, vale, avon, a few ski towns. These are among the highest points of the rockies. However, unlike Utah, which I'll get to next, because your starting elevation is so high, it makes the climbs less dramatic because though you may have climed a "fourteener", you may have started from your car parked at a trailhead at 10,000 or 11,000 feet. So hah!
Anyways, it looked like this here:

this was all taken on a 'sunny' day!

I like this shot the best

The alpineness came down and gave way to the western desert with mesas and beautiful, ancient, crumbling hills, as well as that srcrubby tree stuff from the movies.

I love these dramatic anclines and synclines

these rocks are awesome

You enter the canyon carved out by the colorado river

Past the town of rifle where I made a pita pizza lunch in the park. They have a giant mesa with cliffs.

Notice anything weird about the above picture? How about the fence? You can be in the MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE in the United States and off any interstate or highway there is always this fence. What the hell? Who put that there? It sucks and makes it hard to just pull over and check stuff out. If that is the point it is pretty lame.

Rifle also had this kind of stuff which is awesome. You expect aliens or b movie actors or scientists or body snatchers or something to come out at you here.

Besides the mountains and deserts, utah has a lot of empty randomness like this"

and trains

Senic view, huh? this is a half hour or so south of salt lake:

my hair is growing... i get rocker hair.... this is how i look when i drive in the desert, listening to mentallo and the fixer ,which is also from the desert

There are reflections that were had... more to be had... and i need a place better suited in the future to relate them to you at. This is not the place because the store closes soon and they want me to leave I think. But first let me tell you this. I am on the right track. God has a way of giving me these signs to let me know. The fact that he does not exist does not prevent God from doing this; any more than the fact that God Module's on-stage synthesizer not being turned on does not prevent them from pretending to play it. You can do such things when you are a God and/or signed to Metropolis Records.

I started to learn this in the spring, when I'd randomly drive in a direction on the weekends. I honed it in in Europe, and now it works like a charm, everywhere.


1) Get to the city. Drive to where things are tall.
2) Go around in circles, if you see anything called main street, go there.
3) Walk around looking for weird punk rock looking guys or girls. Ask them where to go to hang out.
4) Find the internet cafe/ bookstore. It is always located in this part of town. Find directions for that club. Also, look for books.
5) Go to the club and meet someone. If all goes well you get a couch to sleep on. Otherwise at least you have fun talking to folks and taking in the local flair.

Oh wait, you want insurance? Well, just post a craigslist personals add a few days before you get to town. Then you get someone's number and you have a tour guide/potenital place to stay all for FREE and you know about it ahead of time.

So how did God/ Metropolis tell me this is the right track?

1) Women are beautiful here and people are friendly
2) I looked for hours on all the shelves of the book store. Only two books appeared worth buying, which I did, and moreover than the fact they are worth buying, they are completely and totally NECESSARY for me to possess and understand AT THIS VERY MOMENT!

Their titles are:
"Existentialism vs Marxism"




which is a pulp novel about a girl who travels around and to stay somewhere she just hooks up with people. Sound familiar?


I forget anything? Yes, there are billboards here, there was a river otter, and a HOT GIRL asked a guy out. So I don't have to re-tell you here's how i just typed it to someone else. Check it out, italics make words seem more valuable:

God damn I've seen some good things. I'm in the land of zion man, where the mormons think god sent them to live. I'm in salt lake and it's beautiful. I'm at the place with free wifi and it is nuts. I saw the hottest woman ever ask this bookstore guy out in the cutest flirtiest way I've ever seen. About 40 feet from where I parked I saw a punk rock looking guy who told me where to go to hang out. Another 40 feet was the bookstore cafe where i can charge batteries for phone and computer. AND I saw the two MOST important books in the world for me to read write now: A serious one called "Existentialism vs Marxism", and a pulp novel about a women who just travels around and fucks people in exchange for a place to sleep. Damn this is awesome.

Man the billboards here were trippy. Billboards advertising capitalism, seriously... this billboard said "I am the Free Capitalist" and had a link to a website i won't share cause then the billboard would win. Others were against meth and real cheesy, then you had of course ones about consultations for migraines and lazer hair removal, as well as gun shows and such.... it is funny too cause this should be this great religious mecca of a city.... the whole way to it was beautiful, but once you got here the smog was so horrid you couldn't see across the valley wild.

I have beautiful photos I have yet to unload. But this is a good thing: I awoke two days ago in the canyon of the Colorado river where all the rocks are red like mars though its not mars, and there are steep, thousand foot, ancient crumbling mesas, and a RIVER OTTER is playing in the river and he caught a fish and ate it!!!! HOW GOOD IS THAT? THAT IS FUCKING GOOD-FANTASTIC!

Here's a more detailed description also written elsewhere by a witness (myself) of the asking out incident:

Just now man.... the hottest woman I've ever seen asked out the hip 'i work at a book store guy' and she was all like, "what do you think of coffeeeee,?", "Would you like to have coffee sometime?", "I heard you play an instrument. I've from out of town but I play guitar." Dude, it was THE most amazing fucking thing so far. Totally beautiful. Get the fuck out of richmond. Fuck the whole east coast. God damnit they have LIFE out here!

Yeah man, listen to that last part. There's adventures AND cosmo-intuitive significance to be appreciated out here.


No comments:

Post a Comment