In All My Negative Jadedness of Being

Yeah, I guess that is the album I meant... Psalm 69 is the name of the song on it, but it is called "The Mind is A Terrible Thing to Taste". Man we are getting senile in our old age with forgetting names and now we got these god damned whipper schnapper youngins to deal with too grr....

Well today was the last day of the building job... I have a bit of money saved... if the new river job works out I should have enough by the fall to get some studio space for a few months, a good electric guitar amp, the nord back, and a good mic for recording acoustic... if there is money we could do another album and maybe some shows... but if the job fucks up then this will all maybe not transpire so neatly and well planned but I'll at least get to eat some beans among the sage brush and wander somewhere pretty while the moog rots in storage... You bug me sometimes but having to be a center of attention lead singer bugs me even more. Playing the keys and ignoring the audience is a lot more comfortable.

I heard two things that were cool recently... one was called art through adversity, where when two or more people are arguing back and forth about art they are able to identify and attack and whittle away the weaknesses in each other's opinions and thus the result is a stronger finished product. This is more fancily called "Dialectics" in philosophy talk.... anyways, I think our epic arguments, particularly with regard to mixing, really helped music happen... I mean, we were still new artists and some of the mixing after ALL THAT FUCKING HELL is still bad (I still love how the voice samples are way louder than your vox in Disintegration, SUCKER!!!... yeah that was kinda a fuckup) .... but... fuck... I was making a point... oh yeah... epic arguments tended to help us each arrive at an artistic or political truth a bit better. But perhaps just as or even more importantly, they pissed us off enough to keep the level of fanaticism and dedication high enough and it is hard to do that when you are a solo artist or your bandmates are lame about getting practice together or albums done....

The other thing I liked was when Mr. Key was telling me how he thinks it is kinda cool when someone is doing some kinda art or music, and it's not completely natural and easy, but they are sort of having to fight with it and there's maybe a bit of dramatic frustration on their face or something, and... that's pretty cool. Hell, that's all the Aint it Dead Yet video is... guys looking like they are pissed off and fighting with the settings on their f/x processor, or banging that oil drum thing.... Dwayne at least looks kinda calm... but he might have been on Heroin?

I think another conclusion I have about music is something from what I've been absorbed with in all my negative jadedness of being a broke ex-musician who is nonetheless still part of a SHALLOW, image obsessed scene of fashion, sex, narcassism, trends, and increasingly bad music... Hell even the fucking hipsters. I hate the fucking hipsters with a passion. But worst of all, despite everything terrible about them... what I share with them is the doomed futility of trying to be artistic and musical in an impoverished jobless age of pixelated hypnosis and political irresponsibility where everyone is a musician, music is no longer "cool" or "special" or "unique" or "rare" ... and despite all the hype, myspace friend requests from unknown bands to other, annoyed, unknown bands... financial losses, and similar insanity.... we keep banging ourselves against this wall for reasons we all must deep down admit originate in the shallowest vanity of drama queens and male peacocks.... even though you may recall there were no hookers, and no mountains of cocaine, in that frozen-to-death forest.

A useful alternative to this is to move to the desert and play the acoustic guitar for the scorpions, burrowing owls, sunsets, and Green River Shale. If however some fucker is dumb enough to give me money... going on tour, climbing a couple mountains along the way, impressing the Wyoming gas station attendants with unusual hairdos, and inflicting my own pain on others through the music I've manipulated them into being subjected to is about as good a way to spend one's time as any, I reckon.

Hello... I don't even write blogs anymore, but now cause I interacted with the world I just wrote a buncha crap and I might as well post it as a blog cause at least it makes good reading. See what I mean now about ART through CONFLICT and INTER-ACTION?

(conversations, 04/2010)